Monday, March 2, 2009
The ceremony was beautiful now its time for the reception. Food, dancing, fun, thank yous and toasts.
Your guests have come out to join you on your special day and you should take the time to say thank you. It is also an opportunity to thank those who have not only supported you during the wedding planning but throughout your life. It does not have to be a long speech, it should be a sentiment from the heart. You can decide whether you will give the toasts or whether your husband, or maybe even both.
Hold your glass in your hand, look around to acknowledge everyone and begin. Giving some thought and possibly writing down what you would like to say is definitely important, it will help you to have your thoughts organized and a lists of all of those you wish to thank. If however you happen to forget all of the individuals that you wish to thank, be careful with starting to list names beyond immediate family to avoid hurt feelings. If you will be using a quote from a poem or book, rehearse it so that when you speak it flows naturally and seems unrehearsed.
Do's and Don'ts
* Do choose a story general enough for every listener to understand
* Don't include slang (unless it's in such wide use that everyone will get it): you're thanking all your guests, so you need to include everyone.
*Don't embarrass anyone (at least not in a mean-spirited way) and forget foul language.
* Don't give a toasts if you are drunk, it's a horrible idea ( you should not get drunk at your own wedding, anyway). It's a toast, not a roast
*Do try to limit your speech to two - three minutes. Speak slowly and clearly
*Do keep it simple. It's nice to tell a quick, illustrative anecdote, but launching into anything too lengthy makes you hard to follow
Etiquette expert Jason Tesauro, coauthor with Phineas Mollod of The Modern Lover: A Playbook for Suitors, Spouses & Ringless Carousers (Ten Speed Press, 2004), suggests kicking things off with something borrowed. "Using part of a song, poem, or even a bit of the history of toasting as your intro will get the marbles out of your mouth and loosen up your tongue while your guests are still quieting down," he says. "If they miss anything, no big deal -- they weren't your words anyway." Start your toast with an eloquent reflection on marriage, love, or soul-binding. (The Knot)
Find these beautiful flutes at http://aleximanievents.cceasy.com/
Take the time to do a quick mic check too: Tesauro suggest that most microphones are made to sound best at a distance about equal to that between your extended index and pinkie fingers.
Be inspired by the Masters, integrate their words into your own speech>
Here are some starting lines, resources provided by The Knot
("As Shakespeare said..."; "In the words of the poet Nikki Giovanni..."), relating them to bride and groom. The idea is to get the crowd to feel the universal significance and emotional impact of the words.
1. May your love be like the misty rain, gentle coming in but flooding the river.
-- Traditional African
2. In so much as love grows in you, so beauty grows. For love is the beauty of the soul.
-- St. Augustine
3. We never live so intensely as when we love strongly. We never realize ourselves so vividly as when we are in full glow of love for others.
-- Walter Rauschenbusch
4. To love someone deeply gives you strength. Being loved by someone deeply gives you courage.
-- Lao Tzu
5. Love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction.
-- Antoine de Saint-Exupery
6. One word
Frees us of all the weight and pain of life:
That word is love.
7. Night and day you are the one,
Only you beneath the moon and under the sun.
-- Cole Porter
8. At the touch of love everyone becomes a poet.
9. Love is a fire that feeds our life.
-- Pablo Neruda
10. Love is friendship set to music.
11. Marriage is like a golden ring in a chain, whose beginning is a glance and whose ending is eternity.
-- Kahlil Gibran
12. The strongest and sweetest songs
yet remain to be sung.
-- Walt Whitman
13. We are each other's harvest; we are each other's business; we are each other's magnitude and bond.
-- Gwendolyn Brooks
14. In our life there is a single color, as on an artist's palette, which provides the meaning of life and art. It is the color of love.
-- Marc Chagall
15. We love because it's the only true adventure.
-- Nikki Giovanni
16. We don't read and write poetry because it's cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion. And medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for.
-- John Keating, in Dead Poets Society (1989)
17. They do not love that do not show their love.
18. When people care for you and cry for you, they can straighten out your soul.
-- Langston Hughes
19. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.
-- Emily Bronte
20. That love is all there is
Is all we know of love.
-- Emily Dickinson
21. A great flame follows a little spark.
-- Dante Alighieri
22. There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved.
-- George Sand
23. Without love, the world itself would not survive.
-- Lope de Vega
24. When love reigns, the impossible may be attained.
-- Indian proverb
25. Love is life.
-- Leo Tolstoy
26. Love is a canvas furnished by nature and embroidered by imagination.
27. Love is a moment that lasts forever.
28. Love is all you need.
-- John Lennon/Paul McCartney
29. A good marriage is that in which each appoints the other guardian of his solitude.
-- Rainer Maria Rilke
30. May your dreams ride on the wings of angels who know their way home to the skies.