Sunday, July 12, 2009

Writing your own vows

On this very special day when you will marry that special someone, have you considered writing the vows that you will recite? Looking lovingly in your future spouse's eyes you begin, "I...on this". Maybe you will need a little help to get started, here are some tips.

Set aside a time for writing

Our lives are consumed with work, family, friends and all your wedding plans. Schedule a date for writing your vows. You can choose to meet up with your spouse-to-be to and answer some basic questions together. Decide whether you will write a mutual vow that you will both recite or individual vows. Set up a relax environment where all other wedding topics are off limits. Allow yourselves to focus on the vows alone. After talking about these different points you can separate and write your individual vows. Taking time to put your thoughts on paper can be a memorable and emotional experience.

Start early!!

Don't let time sneak past you and leave you trying to write down vows the night before. You will be nervous and excited and eventually frustrated when you are unable to come up with the right words. You should give yourself at least a month to work on your vows , two months would even be better.

Starting points

Ask some questions to get you thinking important days, events, and turning points in your relationship. Please remember to stick to all of the positives , this is not a good time to bring up that he did not give you flowers on your first birthday together.

* When did you fall in love? Why

* When did you first say "I love you" to each other?

* What qualities do you most admire about each other?

* What ways are you alike? Different? How do you compliment each other?

* Why did you decide to get married?

* How have you helped each other through hard times?

* What do you have together that you don't have apart?

* What do you want to accomplish together? How do you envision growing old together?

These questions are a good starting point, you may or may not incorporate all of the answers into your vows.

Other tips

Review traditional religious vows, whether from your own faith or others. There might be items from other faiths that may become meaningful to you, which you can incorporate in your vows.

Use poetry books, love stories, songs, scriptures to help you express what you are feeling. Love has inspired many through the centuries and it is a language that at the end of the day says the same thing "I love you".

Think about words that stick out like love, cherish, respect, etc, and think about how what they mean to you.

Your vows can be clever and light however you should remember the seriousness of these wedding vows.

Make a draft, put it down and come back to it later and revise until you feel you are done.

Remember that while personal, you have invited friends and family to witness this day. Don't make it so personal that no one will understand what you are talking about.

Don't write a book, you will have forever to express to each other how much you love each other . So don't make your vows too long.

Ask your officiant if he or she will want to approve your vows before the wedding day.

What ever route you chose with your vows, remember they are the most important part of your entire day and possibly of your commitment to each other.

Be Inspired to have a great marriage as reflected in your wedding vows!!!!!!!!!!!

1 comment:

  1. I love the advise you give! Very nice! If I was getting married, I would definitely come to you!! You always have wonderful advise and Tips!



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